Going to the Mountains
by Sovereign64
Summary: Parody of a Smosh video. While just trying to get away from it all on a mountain retreat, Toushiro and Momo stumble across some big-time trouble. Beware of the Big Red Button. ONESHOT


DW64: Another parody of a Smosh video. Enjoy!

_**Going To The Mountains**_

One day, Toushiro Hitsugaya and his best friend, Hinamori Momo are driving through a forest. As Momo is driving the car, both she and Toushiro are singing happily.

Toushiro and Momo: _**Going to the Mountains!  
Going to the Mountains!  
Yo yo yo yo yo yo Mountains!  
Going to the Mountains!**_

Suddenly, Momo's car starts to slow down and eventually, the car stops moving.

_**Going to the Mountains…**_

Toushiro turns to Momo and asked puzzled, "Momo? What happened? Why are we stopping?" Momo just smiled and sang.

Momo: _**I am out of gas!  
I am stopping right now!**_

"Hey yo, shut the hell up. What are we going to do?" Toushiro asked.

Momo: _**We are trapped in a forest!  
We are…**_

"So screwed…" Momo stops her annoying singing, softens her voice and now looks worried.

"Did I gave you gas money?" Toushiro asked.

"Oh yeah." Momo laughed as she took out a red button that says '_Easy'_. "I spend it on this."

She then presses the button and the button says, _"That was easy."_

"Cool huh?" Momo smiled at Toushiro. Toushiro frowns and shook his head as he opens the door.

"You're an idiot." He said as he gets out of the car.

Momo gets out of the car too and they both walk to the back of the car. Toushiro opens the trunk as Momo asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to get gas." Toushiro then takes out a hiker's bag and carries it on his back.

"Why are you bringing all that stuff?"

"In case we get lost."

"Oh in that case, I'm bringing this." Momo smirked as she takes out a pistol from the car trunk.

"Where did you get that?" Toushiro asked, widening his eyes.

"Found it under Ukitake's bed. Pretty cool huh?"

"Where are you bringing that stupid thing?" Toushiro frowns in annoyance as he points at Momo's button.

"For good luck?" Momo smiled goofily.

Toushiro then snatches the button, much to Momo's shock. "NOT ANYMORE!" He said. Then, he turns around and threw the button high into the sky and as far as he can throw.

"_That was easy."_ The button said when it landed.

"WHAT THE HELL, MAN?! I PAID FIVE BUCKS FOR THAT!" Momo yelled angrily before she runs after the button.

Toushiro shakes his head angrily and grumbled, "Sorry." He closes the car trunk and walks after Momo.

* * *

Later, in the forest, Toushiro watches Momo walks around the forest, looking for her stupid button.

"Where did it go?" Momo said, looking around.

"I don't know." Toushiro shrugged.

"You shouldn't throw it away, it was important to me!"

"Important?" Toushiro cocked his eyebrow.

"Yeah! If I don't find it, I'm so screwed." Momo and Toushiro then walk through the forest quietly, both not saying a word for a few minutes. That's until they both arrived at a tree trunk. Toushiro and Momo turn to the trunk and Toushiro panicked, having a strange feeling that someone is hiding behind the trunk. He quickly draws out a comb from his bag.

"Who's there?" Toushiro demanded, panicking while holding his comb tightly.

"I'm gonna shoot it!" Momo smirked as she draws out her pistol and aims her pistol at the tree trunk.

"Wait! Don't shoot me!" A man with brown hair and wears glasses then comes out from behind the tree trunk and raises up his hands. "You must listen to me, children!" Toushiro and Momo raise their eyebrows and looked at each other. "You're both in grave danger! My brother-"

"DEMOOOOONNNNNN!!!!" Momo screamed and she shot the man several times. The man then falls to the ground with a thud.

The man groans in pain as he holds out a broccoli. "This broccoli is-" He tried to explain but Momo shot him again.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Momo yelled as she shot the man three times. The man finally falls to the ground dead and the back of his head lands on a familiar object.

"_That was easy."_ The button said.

"The easy button!" Momo said happily as she and Toushiro runs over to the now dead man and the button.

As Momo picks up the button, Toushiro goes over to the broccoli and picks it up. "Broccoli!" Toushiro said happily and he began completely pigging out on the broccoli. He then turns to Momo with his mouth full. "Want some?" He asked holding out the broccoli.

"Where's the car?" Momo asked turning around. Toushiro looked around and he also had no clue where their car is.

"I don't know, where did we come from?" Toushiro asked.

"Um…that way?" Momo said, pointing her finger. Toushiro turns his head and the two walk through the forest again.

* * *

While they are walking through the forest, Toushiro asked Momo, "Shia LaBeouf?"

"Not hot." Momo shook her head.

"Johnny Depp?" Toushiro asked again.

"Noooo." Momo shook her head again.

"Brad Pitt?"

"Not hot."

"What?" Toushiro asked surprised as the two stop walking. "What's wrong with him?"

"He has like…big puffer fish lips." Momo said.

"He looks fine." Toushiro smiled a bit as he folds his arms.

"Oh yeah…well, Brad Pitt was like," Momo then impersonates Brad Pitt's voice. "Hi, I'm the hottest man in the world. I have big puffy lips. Na na na na na. I can curl a bullet."

Toushiro then groans in pain as his stomach groans loudly. He grabs his stomach in pain. "What's wrong?" Momo asked.

"I…I'll be right back." Toushiro quickly runs over to the nearest tree and goes behind it.

Momo shrugged and said, "I guess if you gotta go, you gotta go." She then smiles as she takes out her binoculars, puts them on and looks around the forest.

Toushiro then yelled, "Momo, where did you put the toilet paper?!"

"It's in your backpack!" Momo yelled back.

"But all I found is a roll of sand paper!"

Momo groans in annoyance. "JUST USE THE SAND PAPER!"

"FINE!!!" Toushiro then yells in pain as he, um, does his private things. "OW! OW OW! YEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!"

After Toushiro is done, he yelled, "Okay I'm done!"

"Hey! There's something in the tree over there!" Momo cried to Toushiro.

* * *

Toushiro and Momo walk over to a tree and sees a Missing poster that has horrible drawings of them. "Is that supposed to be us?" Toushiro asked as he looks at the poster.

"Well duh. It looks exactly like us." Momo said.

"You think there's something near around us?" Toushiro asked Momo.

"Let me see." Momo looks through her binoculars and looks around. She then sees something that made her yell, "HEY! I See our car over there!"

Toushiro smiled as Momo is indeed right. They are a few metres away from their car. Toushiro and Momo then high-fived before running over to their car. But suddenly, a mysterious figure comes out of nowhere.

"Hold it right there, you two." The man said as he aims his pistol at the two teenagers. Toushiro and Momo look shocked.

"What the? I thought we killed you!" Toushiro said.

"The name's Sosuke Aizen." The man, now known as Aizen, said. "Hand over the button and I may spare your pathetic lives."

"You mean this button?" Momo asked, taking out her easy button. "Why?"

"Because the button possesses a great power that you puny little children are incapable of understanding." Aizen explained.

"But I got this from some homeless old guy."

"HE WAS NO HOMELESS GUY!"

_(Few Hours Ago)_

_Momo walks over to a drunk old man named Kisuke Urahara and gave him five dollars. Urahara smiled drunkenly as he takes the money and hands Momo the easy button._

"_**His name was Kisuke Urahara, a drunk sorcerer who sells magical items and has a huge drinking problem. Somehow, you manage to buy the button from him before I could get to it."**_

_Momo giggles happily as she runs off with her new button. Aizen, who was hiding behind a dumpster, glares at Momo._

"But I couldn't let you get away with it, oh no." Aizen smiled evilly. "I followed you into the mountains and wait for you to come back the dirt road. I then hide behind a rock and shot a hole in your car's gas tank and wait for you to run out of gas. I would have killed you right there, but your idiot boyfriend tosses the button into the forest. So then I followed you into the forest and waited for a good chance to kill you and your stupid boyfriend."

"But I thought I shot you three times." Momo said.

"Ah, but I played a little trick on you!" Aizen said. "Somehow, you found out I was following you. So I send out my identical twin brother to coax you into eating broccoli laced with laxatives. My back stabbing brother tries to warn you of my insidious plan. But before he revealed it, you killed him and ate the broccoli anyway."

"Wait a second, why laxatives?"

"Well, I knew that soon after your friend ate the laxatives, he would have to go drop a doose. So I switched with his roll of toilet paper with a roll of sandpaper laced with a flesh eating virus."

"WHAT?!" Toushiro yelled horrified.

"But then I found out on his medical report that he's immune to flesh eating viruses." Aizen groaned. "But never mind that. Now I'm going to take back what's rightfully mine. And I'm gonna kill the both of you." Aizen then holds up his gun.

"Wait." Toushiro said.

"What now?" Aizen asked in annoyance as he drops down his gun.

"You never even told us what the button does."

Aizen groans in annoyance. "I already said you puny little children are incapable of understanding. But since I'm going to kill you, I guess I'll tell you anyway. So the button has this magical power that grants wishes. All you have to do is say 'Big red button' and then make your wish."

"That's it?" Momo asked.

"Yes." Aizen nods his head.

Momo then holds out her easy button and said, "Big red button, give everybody in the world…a boner!"

Aizen then widens his eyes as he felt something strange at his crotch. "Well…:" He struggles to say. "Well I guess you didn't do it right because I don't have a boner. I'LL BE BACK FOR YOU TOO!" Aizen groans in pain as he walks off into the forest.

Toushiro and Momo just drop their jaws dumbfound. Momo then holds up her easy button and presses it. _"That was easy."_

**THE END**


End file.
